Mommy, You Sound Like a Dude

Almost all kids have lying down to an art.  I had often told my daughter that she needs to not be so quick to answer me, because a person's (especially a child's) first instinct is to protect themselves, including their ego, and often that means lying.  My son, however, is a unique cookie.  He is brutally honest most of the time.  He will tell you if he doesn't like something, why, and his feelings towards things.  In a way I think this a blessing, though often some may choose the disvalue of lying rather than the disrespect of honesty, if there is such a thing.  Way too many adults today are trying to "find themselves" because they have spent their lives lying about how they feel, or following something for someone else.  Or many adults are trying to stem their bad behaviors back to the root of the problems, which generally boils down to their feelings and perspectives on a certain thing.  Bam is very much in touch with his feelings and, in that sense, we can deal with the root of his disobedience without having layers to uncover.

Instead, his honesty leaves us with a different challenge:  a word fitly spoken.  Don't get me wrong -- he openly calls out beautiful things as he sees them; however, with the non-complimenting, but even convicting, the boy seems to lack tact.  I could give many examples, but one that had me pondering the past couple of days was when he said, "Mommy, you sound like a dude."

I sound like a dude?  I understand that we live in a generation where this could become a compliment to a woman.  However, for a woman who embraces her feminity, this was disturbing.  What made him say that?  I can tell you that he said it twice to me in one week, and in both instances it was immediately after I spoke loudly and authoritatively over my house.  

First of all, in my spirit I know that 1) I am an adult in here and authority over my children, and 2) I am my husband's first assistant; but I also know that am not him.  The Bible talks about a meek woman being precious in the sight of the Lord.  What is meekness?  A pastor once told me it is likened unto a father and son wrestling.  The father is more than capable of actually pinning down the son, but yields and allows his son to pin him down.  It is not lack of strength, but yielding that strength.  In fact, I will submit to you that it is actually exercising even greater strength to yield than to not.  For example, do you think it takes God more strength to destroy man than to let him live?  Dear Reader, you should know that it takes significantly more strenth to longsuffer, to pardon, to yield.  Women, it is not an inferiority complex issue, this is an issue of order.  We're talking about order than even a 6 year old boy can see, or lack thereof.

In passing, Brant once said he was about to add chips to his chili but didn't because the bag wasn't opened.  I am the master of the kitchen, mainly because I plan and prepare the meals, but geez does a man have to ask to eat the food of his house?  I had to slap myself internally and told him this is his house, he can have whatever he wants.  Then in my own passing, I lightly mentioned how the kids left and didn't do their chores, making more work upon me.  He stepped up and said he would do it.  It was just not right -- I turned around and said, "It's not your job."  His job is to provide and protect, and mine is this house and the children.  I don't bother myself with the provision of this family, and I wouldn't want it neither.  I also don't want to bother with the protection of it.  Both are a stumblingblock for me, as they feed the anxiety and vanity that I am prone to have.  Yes, call it old school, but to this order's defense, it just kills me to see his authority and strength crumble under me -- it makes me have to take on his job and mine, and all women I know who have tried a man's job before are stressed out, unhappy, or awaiting a man to take that place.  What I like instead is the peaceful rest and security I feel falling asleep in the arms of a man strong in authority, that he made known in the position he holds in his family -- a man capable, by what I see, to let me rest.

There is something so freeing about submission -- not having to be your own God, your own Lord, your own strong tower.  I know I am speaking of the Lord, but isn't that what the husband is supposed to exemplify?  Let your Bridegoom be your Bridegroom, and...let your bridegroom be your bridegroom!  How freeing it was for us when we let Him be our Bridegroom.  Surely when we let our bridegroom be our bridegroom, it will not disappoint.